Note: This is Part 7 of an ongoing series. It is set during the end of “Sweets for My Sweet” (Part 5). It’ll make more sense if you read at least that one first 🙂
Rating: T
Word Count: 1049
Pairings: Destiel
Tags: Sweet Sabriel Serial Killer Verse, Serial Killer AU, Hospitals, Blood, Almost Dying, Confessions of love, FBI Agent! Dean, FBI Agent! Cas
Summary:
Dean stared down at his hands. The hospital was buzzing around him, and all he could think about was Cas.
~~~~~~~
“Please. Please hurry.”
“Please.”
Dean stared down at his hands. The hospital was buzzing around him, and all he could think about was Cas.
Cas had been unconscious by the time the paramedics arrived at the warehouse. Sam had cut him deep, and Dean had been afraid that he’d bleed out before the ambulance got there.
There wasn’t room for Dean to go with him, so he followed along in the car in which he’d transported Gabriel. Cas was already in surgery when he pulled up at the ER, and Dean was herded into the surgical waiting room to wait it out. It was hours later before the doctors let him see Cas.
The room was dark when he entered, a slow beeping coming from the side of the bed where Cas was lying, too still for Dean’s liking. He was hooked up to all kinds of tubes and wires, his face almost as pale as the sheets that lay twisted around him.
The doctors wouldn’t tell him anything, him not being family, but Dean would have been stupid not to be able to read their grim expressions. Cas was in a bad way, and it was all his fault. He’d been so blinded that he hadn’t seen the answer right in front of his face; that his own brother was a monster.
He should have known that Gabriel’s plan wasn’t as cut and dry as it seemed, that there was something else there, but he wanted to get Sam back, and he was willing to walk through hell to do it. He should have realized what was going on, and now Cas was paying the price for his mistakes.
Dean looked down at his hands again, trembling and sticky with Cas’ blood. He couldn’t stop looking at them, picturing Cas’ body under his hands, the warmth leaving him as each drop spilled to the floor. He didn’t think he would ever forget the feeling in his chest was Cas breathing grew shallower and shallower. All he could think about was how Cas was going to die and Dean was never going to be able to tell him how he felt.
His gaze shifted to the body on the bed, Cas’ stupid long eyelashes fanned out over his too-pale cheeks. If he died, Dean would never get to tell him he loved him.
He hadn’t meant for that to happen, sure he’d fooled around with a couple guys in college, and a dozen or so in the academy, but when Dean pictured himself falling in love and settling down, it was always with a woman. Until he met Castiel Collins.
Dean and Cas were at the Academy at the same time, but hadn’t spent much time together until they were partnered under the direction of Bobby Singer, the head of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. To tell the truth, Dean had been a little creeped out by Cas at first, he had a bad habit of standing too close, staring too long and all other manner of of putting behaviors, but Dean came to respect his work ethic, and his keen sense of investigation among other things.
Dense as he was sometimes, it took Dean a little longer to notice Castiel’s physical charms, and his humor. It clearly hadn’t taken everyone else that long to notice, not if the scores of men and women practically throwing themselves at Cas every time they went out was something to go by. Dean had tried to ignore it at first, tried to get over him by dating other people, but it was hard to ignore Cas when they worked together every day. So Dean tried to sack up and shove his feelings down farther in, where he’d never have to acknowledge them again.
He hadn’t been as circumspect as he thought he was.
“So Cas huh?” Sam had asked one afternoon after they’d all eaten lunch together in the cafe downstairs.
“What? No!” Dean had sputtered, his ears going red as he looked down at his tray.
Sam rolled his eyes. “C’mon Dean,” he teased with a smirk. “The eye sex you two have? You aren’t fooling anyone.”
Dean scoffed, his face reddening to match his ears. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
Sam chuckled as he picked up his tray and walked away from him, leaving Dean staring at his back in disbelief.
What he wouldn’t give to see Cas’ eyes right now.
He looked back up at Cas’ face, his features distorted by the tap used to keep his oxygen in place. If he was never going to get another chance to tell Cas how he felt, he may as well take it.
“Cas,” he started, leaning over and putting his hand on the bed. “I’m…. you know I’m not good with words. I don’t know how to say this,” he swallowed hard. “But ….I… ummmm,” he stammered. The guy wasn’t even awake and he had Dean nervous and jumpy, like a teenager on his first date with the Cheer captain.
He took a deep breath, picturing Cas’ face in his head, his messy black hair, sharp blue eyes, the perfect pout of his lips. He’d said this all so many times in his mind, and he pretended it was just one of those times, one among many but never the last.
“Cas, I love you,” he said, not looking up. “I think I have for a long time and didn’t want to admit it. I hate that I waited this long to tell you. I was scared you would reject me, I was scared of what people would think, but not as scared as I am right now, of losing you.”
Tears stuck to Dean’s lashes, and one fell before he could stop it, rolling down his cheek and onto the bed. He rubbed it away hurriedly, sniffling as he wiped his nose on his coat Cas needed him to be strong for him, not fall to pieces the moment that Cas really needed him. He had already let him down once, by letting his feelings for his brother cloud his better judgement. He was not going to do it again.
Suddenly, Dean felt something miraculous, a cold hand squeezing his own.
“Hey Winchester,” Cas smiled at him. “No chick flick moments, remember?”
I have always liked the idea of Gabriel in (one of many of) his true form getting cuddles from Sam
And then a while ago I found this: “Archangels don’t purr” by @nanika67 💖 which just by the title it’s all I needed to get inspired and finally put it on paper
After Gabriel, who was a budding monster just like him, rejected him in a misguided fit of self-righteousness, Lucifer swore he would never let anyone else in. It was very clear from that point on he was meant to be a lone wolf.
After the co-ed he had slaughtered when visiting his brother, Lucifer took a kind of sabbatical. He needed to get back to his roots, as it were, get back to what made killing so much fun for him. He had been so focused on molding Gabriel into his partner, he had lost what made him the monster that he was, and more importantly, the monster he wanted to be.
He wanted no part of Gabriel’s do-gooder bullshit. Unlike him, Lucifer had fully embraced the shadow inside him when it had first kindled to life in him as a child the first time he caught a chipmunk and choked the life out of it with his bare hands. He had come inside covered in blood, after cutting the creature open with his pocket knife and playing with its innards, and his father hadn’t even noticed.
Chuck was his biological father, but he’d never been anything more than a sperm donor as far as Lucifer could remember. He’d never known his mother. There was food in the house, and a roof, albeit a leaky one, over his head, but Chuck had never shown much interest in him on a deeper level. He was five, when Chuck had dropped him off at his grandparents farm in South Dakota.
At first, his grandparents had been alright. His Grammy Miriam made him pancakes before school in the morning, and his Grampy Alan taught him how to fish, hunt and clean a gun. But slowly their presence become stifling, like a weighted blanket over his face, blocking him from the cool sweet air beyond, and hunting only stopped the bloodlust inside of him for so long. He was twelve when he killed them both.
He was twenty one when he first saw the sun outside prison bars, and his father was waiting to pick him up. Somewhere between dropping him off and now, Chuck had gotten clean, and decided to take an interest in his son again. He helped Lucifer get his things into the car, blathering on and on about how they were going to live with his stepmother Becky, and his half brother, Gabriel.
Lucifer hadn’t expected to take such an interest in his brother. His new stepmother he could give or take, she was too much of a simpering bimbo for his taste, but from the moment he saw Gabriel, he felt an instant connection to him, something he’d never felt before with anyone.
Not until he met Cain.
He was people watching on a beach in San Diego, when he first spotted him, looking like a rumpled college professor with his long greying hair, and mexican blanket reading a book in the sand. He wasn’t the kind of person that normally drew Lucifer’s fancy, but there was something about him, the way he held himself, that made Lucifer stop and take notice.
The man stopped his reading, and glanced up at Lucifer. It caught him off-guard, he’d been stalking and preying on people for a very long time, and not once had anyone noticed him before. They made eye contact briefly, and Lucifer could feel the shudder of the monster inside him all the way down to his toes. He’d only felt that tremor once before, and that was the first time he’d stared into Gabriel’s eyes, an unseen recognition of the dark shadow that laid behind the blue of his eyes. This man was a predator just like him, and Lucifer needed to have him.
He’d never been driven by such a compulsion before. Romantic idiots called it love at first sight, but Lucifer didn’t believe in that, or love in any capacity really. The only feelings he knew were lust, power, want, and right now, he felt the need to possess this man truly and fully.
“Are you just gunna keep staring into space, or are you going to say something to me?” A voice asked in his ear.
Lucifer had been so distracted, so off-kilter that the man had snuck up on him. “A- buh- what?”
“Are you always this eloquent?” the man asked, his lips quirking at the ends under his moustache.
Normally Lucifer took pride in his silver tongue, but it was tied in knots as he tried to speak. Finally, the words came. “Do you want to get a drink?”
The man considered him for a moment. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Somewhere between the beach, bar, and mind blowing sex in the men’s bathroom, Lucifer discovered the man’s name was Cain, and that he, like Lucifer, was just blowing through town looking for prey.
Lucifer had never loved anyone in his life, even Gabriel whom he had been sure was his soulmate of sorts, and he fell hard and deep for Cain. It was hard not to, when he’d found someone who was so alike and yet so different from himself all in one person.
He told Cain things he’d never told anyone before, about his father, his grandparents, about Gabriel, and Cain told him much the same, about his brother Abel, about losing his love, Colette. Finally Lucifer had hope, that he’d found someone who would stay with him forever.
They lived happily for a couple years, Lucifer keeping to the shadows more than he would normally. He was confident that he could get away with it, but Cain was more cautious, preferring only to kill when the urge became too much. It wasn’t much fun that way but he was happy, happier than he’d been in his entire life.
Until the Candy Man and Sam Winchester destroyed his life.
He’d heard whispers of a killer hunting other killers, a monster hunting down his own kind, but he saw no reason to be frightened No one had been able to get the jump on him yet, and he doubted they ever would, but it had Cain on edge, and that alone put Lucifer on edge too.
Cain didn’t enjoy killing like Lucifer did. He did what he did in the darkness, quick and bloody and got on with his life. He didn’t live for the kill, he killed to live, because he had to. That was the big difference between them, that and their fears of getting caught. Cain had been to prison once, he wasn’t going back, but Lucifer, Lucifer had no fear at all. He’d been to juvi because he’d been young, and careless. He wasn’t either now. He was good at what he did, but he kept an ear to the ground anyway, just so Cain would feel safe.
That was how he discovered Sam Winchester.
Lucifer was vaguely familiar with Bobby Singer and the BSU. Most people who did what he did were, his freedom depended on being cognizant of what enemies lay in wait for him. He couldn’t help but be smug when the headlines proclaimed that one of Bobby’s best students had lost his fiance to a killer he had been hunting. Served him right, Lucifer had thought to himself at the time. He should have known it wouldn’t last. The Candy Man made everyone crazy, the FBI included, and Bobby pulled Sam Winchester out of his cushy teaching job at the Academy and put him back in the trenches.
Lucifer prided himself on knowing monsters, and he knew that the CandyMan wouldn’t be able to resist tweaking the tiger by the tail. He should have been prepared for the fallout.
He was napping on the couch in their apartment, when a loud slam of the door woke him. He opened his eyes to Cain frantically milling about, stuffing random things into his backpack.
“Cain,” Lucifer called, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Love, where is the fire?”
“Need to go…” Cain mumbled, grabbing a sweatshirt off the back of the armchair where Lucifer’ had left it. “He’s gunna find us.”
Lucifer rose from the couch and put his hands on Cain’s shoulders. “What happened? Who is going to find us?”
“Him,” Cain grabbed the newspaper off of the table, showing into Lucifer’s face. “The Candy Man. He saw me, we need to leave.”
“Woah woah woah, slow down,” Lucifer said, taking the paper from him. “No one knows what that Candy Man looks like, it wasn’t him.”
“It was him!” Cain insisted. He had a wild look in his eyes, like a caged animal. “I had just finished, and I was cleaning my knife, and I heard someone walking behind me” he explained. “When I turned around he was there, standing at the bus stop, and he had a lollipop in his mouth and…”
“Just some guy waiting for the bus, Candy Cain,” Lucifer tried to soothe him, but Cain bristled and slipped out of his grasp. “It’s gunna be okay.”
“It wasn’t,” he shot back, heading into the bedroom. He came out a couple moments later with a jacket and two pairs of pants. “It was him. I just know it,”
Lucifer knew better than to doubt Cain’s intuition. “If it is him, we can handle him,” he said. “You and I… together. We can take out anyone who gets in our way…”
He stepped forward, and pulled Cain closer, effectively cutting him off from moving anymore. Cain wouldn’t look at him, so Lucifer buried his face in his boyfriend’s neck. “We got this,” he cooed. “We’re the boogeymen remember? It’ll take a more than some asshole with a lollipop to have us running for the hills.”
Cain held himself ridged for a moment, not willing to give in, but Lucifer didn’t let go. He held him until the man softened, melting against the softness of Lucifer’s body.
“You’re right,” he mumbled, pressing his lips to Lucifer’s head. “I’m not going back to prison.”
Lucifer kissed him hard on the mouth. “I wouldn’t let that happen.”
It was still a couple hours before Cain calmed down enough to sleep, and by the time they climbed into bed, Lucifer was exhausted. He pulled Cain close to him as he fell asleep, listening to the quiet, steady beat of his heart.
I Aim To Misbehave 